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Harvard’s ‘Sex Week’ Features ‘Orgies 101,’ Proves COVID Recovery Is in the Can

COVID-19 cut out important American elements — Thanksgiving, toilet paper, the movies, and mouths.

Additionally among those removed: Harvard's Sex Week.

But for any devastated by that deficiency, take heart: A comeback is upon us.

Though the 7-day foray into friskiness was canceled last year, the elite university's ready for a return to joviality and germs.

On Monday, the campus newspaper reported, “Harvard Sex Week Begins With a Bang.”

During the coming week, student organization Sexual Health Education and Advocacy Throughout Harvard College, or SHEATH, is hosting a wide array of discussions ranging from BGLTQ intimacy to sex toys. This year's programming includes 19 events from Monday to Sunday, such as “A+ Students, F Boys: A Student Panel on Dating and Hookups in College”…

SHEATH's co-president, Andie E. Turner, laid bare the extravaganza's goal:

“We include events that are as inclusive, diverse, encouraging of open dialogue as possible for students who both have come to Harvard with little to no sex education in their hometowns, which is my case, or students that had grown up in families or communities that have much more of an open discourse with regards to sexuality, sex intimacy, but just want to further their knowledge.”

Indeed — gains run the gamut.

A festivity Facebook ad touts the “Genesis Group” for “a conversation on [how] you can freeze your eggs…to preserve future fertility.”

We will talk about the benefits [of] freezing your eggs, the egg retrieval process and its risks, as well as how you can make that happen for free!

Because what college kid isn't invested in egg icing?

As for inclusion, the eggy endeavor isn't only for women.

In fact, per the promotion, “anyone with a uterus” is invited.

The schedule's a veritable panoply of provocation.

On Saturday, interested parties can learn to be lewd: 2:30-3:30 will see “I Want It, I Got It: Vocalizing Desire and Talking Dirty” in the Fong Auditorium.

For those longing to give it their best Lenny Bruce via Ma Bell, there's Thursday's “Kiss Me Thru the Phone: Long Distance w/Satisfyer.”

Monday schooled students on “Kinks & Fetishes & Taboos, Oh My!”

Sunday will speak to the exercise of unmentionables with “Vulva Talk,” whereas Tuesday offered “Orgies 101.”

Other activities:

Let's Talk About Porn, Baby: A Conversation w/Dr. Nancy Bauer
Won't Stop Nother But a Sentence; Period Talk w/Flex
My-dentity: BGLTQ Intimacy

On Saturday, the Ivy League leader will get festive with just a two-word affair, “**** Fest” (to fill in the four-letter blank, apply the appropriate alliteration).

And for those wanting to get back to basics, there's “What What, in the Butt! Anal 101.”

Over the past few years, headlines have shouted the colossal change in education occurring on college campuses.

It seems sex-soaked movies of the '80s — surely now considered sexist — have morphed into modern reality.

Films such as Revenge of the Nerds featured similar events to Sex Week, only now, the school itself is supportive.

1982's Porky's made its bones on boys trying to see into the gals' shower room. These days, female freshening facilities are open to any sex so long as bathers say they'll be soaping up as schoolgirls.

Amid the revolution, Harvard in particular is keeping on the cutting edge:

Do colleges exist for educational purposes anymore?

That seems unclear.

But concerning on-campus values, our governmental institutions are getting a revamp from the White House on down.

Although, if I had to guess, I'd say that in Washington, Sex Week lasts all year.

-ALEX


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