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HOT TAKES: Nancy Pelosi’s Eyebrows Are a Thing — No, Really

Why do we so disdain Nancy Pelosi and all for which she stands? Let us count the ways.

Pelosi's raw thirst for power has been and remains unquenchable. Her depth of deception and dishonesty, coupled with the height of her hypocrisy, have few equals. And the condescension? Oh, the condescension.

Finally, toss in late-stage 4 Trump Derangement Syndrome and Madam Speaker's off-the-charts obsession with all things Donald Trump, and by Jove, I think you've got it.

As if we didn't already have more than enough target-rich material about which to blister Nancy Pelosi on a daily basis, the 81-year-old woman's creepy eyebrows are now a thing on Twitter, where they — and she — continue to be mocked and ridiculed in hilarious fashion.

So, Pelosi did an interview with CBS's “Face the Nation” this week in which she yet again spewed silly nonsense about how the evil Republicans are undermining democracy, but it wasn't the contents of Madam Speaker's delusional diatribe that became a social media hit. Not even close.

Nope, Pelosi's eyebrows stole the show, so much so that even Fox News host Tucker Carlson got in on the act, as only Tucker can.

You might've found yourself sitting on the couch, idly flipping around the TV dial, and if you flipped far enough, you could have had the shock of your life: Michael Jackson was on “Face the Nation.”

Let's be clear, this wasn't video of Michael Jackson performing his hit songs of the 1990s; this appeared to be a living version of the international pop star that news reports claim died of a drug [overdose] more than a dozen years ago.

And despite those claims, there he was: fully, undeniably Michael Jackson talking on television. How can that be? We can only show you what he saw.

Ouch. Then again…

The segment then cut away to a clip of Pelosi ripping Republicans over the Capitol riot.

There's nothing more important for us to do than to protect our Constitution and our democracy. What the Republicans are doing across the country, is really a legislative continuation of what they did on January 6th, which is to undermine our democracy.

But all Tucker could see was eyebrows. See, Michael Jackson,” he mocked. “That was him.”

Perhaps the worst part of the Democrats' continuing nonsense about “insurrection,” “undermining democracy,” and all such nonsense is that they know better — yet will continue lying about it in perpetuity, solely for politically expedient reasons. But, man, them [sic] eyebrows.

The Babylon Bee, the best satire site in the known universe, IMHO, jumped on EyebrowGate, as well.

Dome Of Capitol Building Raised To Accommodate Nancy Pelosi's Eyebrows

“Last year's bipartisan infrastructure bill has already begun to save our nation from the brink of all types of collapses,” wrote The Bee, “thanks to additional funding for a myriad of infrastructures.

The first major project to near completion is the raising of the Capitol Dome to accommodate Nancy Pelosi's eyebrows.

This is is critical infrastructure spending at its finest.

The Bee “quoted” pretend-Capitol Building Chief Architect Bob Cornice.

This is the first time the Capitol building has undergone a major facelift in response to a major facelift. The structure was on the brink of collapse due to damage caused by those things constantly crashing into load-bearing columns.

“Towering cranes lifted the massive dome hundreds of feet higher to accommodate the House Speaker's updated physiology,” The Bee said. At publishing time, according to The Bee, construction had experienced delays, after Pelosi stopped by to check on construction progress and one of her eyebrows snagged a cable, toppling a crane.

The architect also “confirmed plans for a deeper Capitol basement to accommodate Mitch McConnell's second chin.”

Meanwhile, #PelosiEyebrows and similar hashtags continue to be a thang [sic] on Twitter.

The bottom line.

Given today's political climate of hyperpartisanship, it behooves us all to stop, from time to time, slow down, smell the proverbial roses, and appreciate our many blessings. That — and unmercifully ridicule our friends on the left. And no “friend” on the left more deserves our appreciation (scorn) than Nancy Pelosi.

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