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The Oscars Were As Bad As You Would Expect, With a Few Surprises

I went to the “Return to Normal” Oscars but it wasn't necessary to.

You're welcome.

We are a family of cord cutters, so I actually signed up for a free trial with FUBO-TV in order to watch it. Canceled it as soon as the show was over. I have enough streaming apps in my life.

It was as terrible as expected, with some shining moments to make it bearable. We'll get to the worst first.

Due to the Woke's takeover in the year 2019, comic Kevin Hart was canceled as host of The 2019 Academy Awards show over some 10-year old tweets that were thought to be homophobic. Bravo, Woke Mafia.

Since the beginning, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has had difficulty finding real comedians to join the show. Anyone who is worth their salt can do a Ricky and call everybody out. Bill Burr or Dave Chappelle could be the perfect choice but neither would be willing to touch it with 10-foot sticks and neither would the Academy choose them. The organizers of this snoozefest chose two comedians as well as an actress who is a comedian for the stage: Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes along with Regina Hall.

Amy Schumer was as funny as always. Which means not funny at all. Seriously, who believes she's got talent? She was clearly not consulted on her dress choices. The half-dress/half-tuxedo ensemble with a swollen breast (she began the show with this) was as uncool as her comedy. Thankfully, she wasn't in the spotlight for long. In the final moments, when she returned near the conclusion of the program to make a shoddy “seat filler” sketch and introduce actor Antony Hopkins, it was similar to having a bucket of cold water to your face. It was jarring.

Regina Hall is a lovely actress who has a funny voice in movies. Tonight? Well, not really.

Wanda Sykes is truly funny. She may not be my favorite comedian due to her political views, however, her wit and timing for comics is spot on. The spots she chose to make received the only real laughter of the evening.

A truly sad and hilarious moment was the performance of three of the cast members from the film Juno: Jennifer Garner, J.K. Simmons and Elliott Paige, who, at the time of filming, was a female whose name was Ellen Paige.

I spoke to an expert in biology on this issue and I'm sure they'll agree with me.

It was awkward and strange at best, particularly since they played an excerpt of Juno featuring three actors in the scene. An uneasy disconnect, to put it mildly.

Were Jason Bateman or Allison Janey unavailable to be on screen? Bravo, Academy on ruining an excellent film.

The “In Memoriam” segment was an unintentional deviation… but not the best one. Instead of a single, well-chosen song that accompanied the films of filmmakers who have gone to great heights, a gospel choir and dance group performed. They sang several songs, such as “I Will Remember You,” “Spirit in the Sky,” and “Thank You For Being A Friend” (the theme song from Golden Girls). Tyler Perry set off a number of tributes to his own personal Sidney Poitier. Bill Murray for Ivan Reitman, as well as Jamie Lee Curtis for Betty White. It was a snare to the ability of the audience to recall and appreciate. Instead of focusing on the filmmakers who died and their talents, we were in a frenzy trying to determine what was happening and which song was being played and seeing half of the images obscured by movement on stage.

Poor planning, poor execution. If you didn't get to enjoy it at the actual awards ceremony, watch the show afterward at the AMPAS website.

The most infamous incident of the evening was the moment the comedian Chris Rock (who twice hosted the Oscars) made a joke concerning the hairstyle of Jada Pinkett Smith. The actress has been wearing a low-shave for a while and has apparently suffered from a condition in which she has lost her hair. Chris Rock came out with a quip: “Jada, can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane II.”

Awkward. Pinkett-Smith appeared to be very unhappy and so was Will Smith, who walked onto the stage and hit Chris Rock. After he was seated, Smith yelled something at high pitch. But they were quick to switch away and cut off the sound for around 30-45 seconds while the argument erupted.

An Australian Twitter user was diligent enough to take that segment and reveal the truth of what Americans could not hear.

Based on the tweet, as well as the video posted, Smith yelled at Chris Rock, “Keep my wife's name out of your [redacted] mouth.”

Clear up in Aisle 4! Rock handed out the award, however, the majority of the audience was caught up in that moment.

Will Smith won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance as King Richard. Smith even used his moment to defend his wife during the Academy acceptance address.

Good job Will… Very well played.

As embarrassing as the performance from Juno was , Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, and John Travolta, the actors from Pulp Fiction, brought the stage back with a fun and nostalgic reminiscence. It was like an opportunity to cleanse the palate… nearly.

Jane Campion won the “Woke Oscar”, also called The Academy Award for Best Director, for her film The Power Of The Dog.

Dune made waves in the technical aspect; however, it was unable to move any needles in the performance.

Jessica Chastain, who is an incredible actress, won an Academy Award for Best Actress (biologist confirmed) for The Eyes of Tammy Faye. In addition to King Richard it was the only other film I watched. Whatever your opinion is about the Bakkers and Tammy Faye, I feel Jessica Chastain played her with respect and in a multi-faceted manner. Not a lot of actresses can do the same.

It was well-deserved, however, as per the Woke, Chastain used her speech as a tribute towards people of the LGBTQ community.

My conservative friends who are also filmmakers have been giving CODA glowing reviews, and I'm eager to watch it. The actor, Troy Kotsur, won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor – Biologist confirmed.

Kotsur became the first person with a hearing impairment to be awarded an award such as the Best Supporting Actor Academy Award. Konsur gave a heartfelt, accurate, precise, and well-written speech with an interpreter. We last heard Konsur was when he spoke with Marlee Matlin, who was awarded with the Best Actress Academy Award for Children Of A Lesser God. Director and writer Sian Heder, who is not deaf, dragged up the CODA cast member to sign her acceptance speech. Heder received an Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay and also improved the speech “I'm so glad I dressed as a disco ball!” Then she delivered her second amazing speech of the evening paying tribute to her husband as well as family (so she didn't have to go Woke). The Academy should consider hiring Heder as well as Konsur in the coming year. They could perform speech-coaching for all nominated candidates.

They did a wonderful job.The icing on this rather sloppy cake: CODA won the Academy Award for Best Picture.

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