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Weekly Pulitzer Prize Dis-Honors Go to These Dishonorable Journalists and their Wild Texts

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, “Riffed From The Headlines”, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. To properly recognize the low watermark in the press, let us get right to the latest examples of journalistic mis-excellence.

Distinguished Sports Reporting:

Laine Higgins — Wall Street Journal

Not being a basketball fan I'll admit to being a bit lost on any significance here, but at the WSJ there was some breaking news on the Final Four. Villanova's head coach Jay Wright went to New Orleans for the semi-finals, and he did not pack a suit!!

Distinguished Breaking News:

Yamiche Alcindor — NBC News

With the process of the confirmation of Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court concluded, we bring to an end the perpetual charges of intolerance alleged to have taken place. Looking into her judicial record, requesting her test scores…asking her questions about her record — all were racist.

Taking the top prize, however, has to be Alcindor's assessment of things on the day of her vote. There was a delay in her confirmation, as Rand Paul was not present on the floor, due to his lack of neckwear. He had to rush in late to get his vote registered, the last one, in order to make the already foregone result official.

NBC News' Lester Holt was covering the event live and turned to Alcindor, who went on a lengthy spiel about how this delay was indicative of the oppression and barricades black women have faced. This was her judgment — about waiting a few extra minutes -.for a SCOTUS seat that will not be filled until this summer.

During her diatribe about the inherent racism of Paul's delay, he cast his vote and things became official 60 seconds after Alcindor’s rant.

Distinguished Investigative Reporting:

Dan Evon — SNOPES

With Disney facing elevated levels of scrutiny regarding its position on the Florida parental rights law, apparently there is another charge being made that the company issues a product with a suggestive display. Good thing we have fact-checkers available, for us to learn the truth about the important issues in our society.

We reached out to Target to see when this gift card was last offered and will update this article if more information becomes available. At the moment, the retailer offers a similar gift card. While there's no hidden penis in this artwork (that we can see), there is some mouse-on-mouse affection.

Distinguished Political Cartoons:

Michael deAdder — Washington Post

Most of the media has been rather hysterical in describing Ron DeSantis and the Florida parental rights bill, so the challenge for a cartoonist is to deliver an even more elevated level of hysteria. Mike deAdder at the Washington Post delivered, coming up with a twist: depicting the governor leaving a trail of dead children with his new law.

When called out for this depiction, the cartoonist tried to claim the kids in his image were merely in a coma, like Snow White in her spell. The problem: He was proven to have used a famous photo of a dead child to trace over for his cartoon.

Distinguished Local Reporting:

Danielle Miskell — WDKY Fox 56 – Lexington

Local residents were concerned when a stream of bubbles became visible in a nearby creek. In a short while, the rivulets of suds had grown in size to thick clouds of foam piling up along the shore. Authorities were contacted, and experts darted to the area to collect samples and conduct tests to verify what this pollutant was in the waterway.

It was soon discovered that a pipe burst at an area business, which released significant amounts of its product into a nearby storm drain. The company produces… an ecologically-safe dog shampoo.

Distinguished Sports Reporting:

Talkin' Baseball

On Thursday I commemorated Opening Day for Major League Baseball with a column highlighting the deep connections of beer to the National Pastime. Right on cue, we see one of the players taking this to heart. In Arizona, the Diamondbacks had a dramatic, 9th-inning victory, when one of their rookies launched a walk-off home run.

His name is Seth Beer. He managed to “go long” on National Beer Day.

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