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University is Seeking a Science Professor with an Identity Other than Binary

We're living in a time of identity.

An example: The University of Waterloo is searching for an assistant professor of science.

Here's what the March 21st advertisement on the internet reads:

The Faculty of Environment at the University of Waterloo is seeking an outstanding scholar and researcher to fill the Natural Science and Engineering Research Council (NSERC) Tier 2 Canada Research Chair and tenure track position with the rank of Assistant Professor. There is an expected start date of July 1, 2022.

The person should know the subject:

The Faculty is in search of candidates who have an PhD or equivalent degree in the areas of earth, geography, environmental science, sustainability planning, or any related field. … Evidence of a current research program that focuses on climate science as well as sustainability and water science or the future of cities, and an excellent track record for Tri-Agency research funding or similar or equivalent, is needed.

The school is willing to consider a few exceptions:

If there is an outstanding candidate for appointment, a position to the rank of Associate Professor may be considered.

But, they're also firm when certain box-checking concerns:

This opportunity is only open to those who self-identify themselves as woman, transgender, transsexual, non-binary, or two-spirit.

If you think that you are single-minded, then your research is useless here.

No-go:

A man with a penis.

Yes-go:

Woman with penis

Man with an empty vagina

A woman with vagina

Anything other than a man with a penis. 

The same goes for modern science.

We have moved beyond simply evaluating an individual's performance. Meritocracy is a myth:

Stanford's New Research Lab Calls out the Root Causes of America's “Racial Hierarchy”: Public Education and Ostensible Meritocracy

College School Students and staff on Microaggressions “Death by a Thousand Cuts” and “Myth of Meritocracy”

All political parties are now social, and all science is now political.

Academics Strike at the ‘Whiteness' in Introductory Physics'

Science Journal Decries Racism in Geology and claims Black People Are Too Scared to use Hammers

Forensic Anthropologists claim that ‘Cloaked' Whiteness Soils Science

Professor is kicked out of Neuroscience Group After Suggesting There Are Males and Females

Science Journal Slams Star Wars for Othering, “Orientalism” and White Saviorism

Breastfeeding Academy slams “Breasts”

Returning to that University of Waterloo, if you're a single-spirit guy with a penis wishing to be able to fill the vacancy, perhaps you'll manage to drum up an extra ounce of spirit.

If you're uneducated on what it means to be two-spirit, you can check out LGBTQAndAll.com for assistance:

Two-Spirit is a term that connects Indigenous as well as Western people's perception of sexuality and gender.

Beware that the site advises against appropriation of religious beliefs:

It is vital to understand that Two-Spirit is an indigenous identity. Non-native LGBTQ+ individuals should not make use of it as a method to express their identity. Two-Spirit is considered to be a sacred practice among the early tribes from Turtle Island and should be honored.

To clarify, Waterloo is in Ontario, Canada. However, if you believe this particular set of requirements is a whole nation away from the cultural perspective — from what I've seen the distance is approximately ten feet away from where you are in that part of the Great White North.

We all share our values in the exact same way, in spite of our differences.

If you're one of those scientists whose genitals hang low in jeans, it might be better to get an additional spirit. Nowadays, social justice is more important than anti-discrimination requirements.

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