Biden Reminisces About the Time He Stopped Crime With an Old Upstairs Woman He Used to Meet

Joe Biden is famous for his tales.

On Tuesday, the Leader of the Free World regaled a group with an account of a crime-related retribution. Many years ago in Wilmington, Delaware, a group of gangs showed an inclination to cause problems. However, Biden ensured that their criminal activity was snuffed in the early stages. The future President took down criminals with the most powerful of all weapons: a phone number.

In Wilkes-Barres, Pennsylvania, he told his campfire tale:

“I remember…on the East Side in Wilmington, in one of those old Victorian…three-story apartment buildings. And going up to see an old woman whose name, she’s passed way, but I won’t mention her name now. And staying in that rotunda, that part that stuck out around the building? And she’d say, ‘Joey, I know — I know what’s going on. They all plan it downstairs. I can hear them, but I’m afraid to tell anybody. I’m afraid to tell anybody. The gangs.’ And so, I got her so, that I got a number for the local cops. She called. They promised not to identify her, ’cause they knew there’d be retribution.”

The amazing effect:

“The crime rate began to drop.”

If you think that it's not real:

“For real—not a joke.”

It's a tale of triumph. For those who are skeptical, you might have a few questions:

  • Why was the bulk of Wilmington’s crime headquartered in a single apartment building?
  • Why did an elderly lady choose to live in Misdeeds Mecca?
  • How might a phone call about what one gang had said through the ceiling substantially sock it to the city’s crime?
  • Why would the lady’s identification be an issue? Would cops have otherwise foiled the plots of superviallains only to punctuate it with, “Mrs. Smith above you ratted you out”?
  • If the events took place in, say, 1962 (when ‘Joey’ was 20), what elderly lady would’ve owned a phone but no phone book?
  • Why was a young Joe Biden “going up to see an old woman” on the top floor of a crime house?

However, it was an interesting tale just like those about Corn Pop and leg hair:

They also happened in Wilmington. With just one phone number, did Joey bring an end to Corn Pop?

The President's inspirational story was in the context of a plea to finance the police.

“When it comes to safety in this nation,” he said, “the answer is not ‘Defund the Police.’ It’s ‘Fund the Police.'”

Then he completely blew their minds:

“There’s bad in everything. There’s lousy senators, there’s lousy presidents, there’s lousy doctors, there’s lousy lawyers.”

In case you think he is joking:

“No—I’m serious.”

Regarding funding cops, Biden might want to have a confidential conversation with the members of the party.

The issue of crime is definitely a problem in America and properly trained law enforcement officers are essential in resolving the issue.

In addition, you'll need more than just a phone number provided for you by your frequent visitor, Joey.

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