WaPo Tells Readers How Bad Their Thanksgiving Is For the Environment

It sounds like a parody, however it's actually not. The Washington Post column titled, “The climate impact of the Thanksgiving meal might surprise you” was actually written (on paper, not mind you — have they lost their decency?) in attempts to ruin your Thanksgiving celebration by reminding you of the fact that you're destroying the environment by not serving only kale-based meals.

“I know, I know, nobody wants to put ‘climate' and ‘Thanksgiving' in the same sentence,” food writer Tamar Haspel wrote. If she had known this, then why did she write it? It's true that nobody wants to hear these two words in a row. What we really would like to do is sit down and take a meal with a great view and be grateful to God for the abundance of blessings. 

However, let's look at the carbon emissions we produce instead. With a planet that has an estimated population of 8 billion surely our choices for food will have more impact on climate change than, say China which is where the majority of the world's coal power plants are in construction. 

Haspel at least provides some happiness; the turkey feast will not be nearly as awful as that horrible Independence Day grilling. 

“The primary ingredients of Thanksgiving include plants and poultry making Thanksgiving a more climate-friendly holiday than, say, the burger festival that takes place on the Fourth of July.”

Oh , thank you very much. But it gets even better:

“On the axis of beef, pork and poultry, poultry produces the lowest carbon dioxide emissions…”

“In general, poultry is about one-seventh of the weight of beef (on an individual basis of calories). The footprint of a turkey is likely to be slightly larger than that of a chicken's due to the fact that it's slow-growing. This implies that a turkey requires more feed and longer to get up to the table weight However, it's an acceptable option.”

Okay, to summarize, chicken is superior to turkey. Turkey is better than beef. There's a better alternative but:

“I'm obliged to say that venison is a more superior choice; it's the meat I've served on my Thanksgiving table over the times when I've gotten a deer.”

Wait, what?! “Gotten a deer?” This could be a hint that she's an experienced ….hunter?. She provides a link to another of her pieces that explains the benefits to climate of eating deer. “The catch, of course,” she says, “is that you have to kill a deer.”

 “So think about getting your hunting license,” she writes. “Our world could be better for it.”

The article continues to state that oysters, which are used in the preparation of stuffing, have low impact on climate. In the case of the cranberries, she's not certain, but she compares their effect like blueberries. She's a fan of cornbread, however she's worried about green beans since the latter aren't “quite as environmentally friendly as root vegetables.”

Pecan or pumpkin pie all fall in”the “good” category because the trees they grow on do not need to be planted each year. They may not be the best for your health, but they're also climate-friendly which is why you should enjoy them.

Thanksgiving is a time when we are thankful for our families, share our prayers, and enjoy the good things in our lives. It's not an occasion to calculate our carbon emissions and to be lectured about our unhealthy diet. According to Breitbart, the writer claims they've received more hate messages over this piece than any article she's ever written.

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